Lessons in Life

I used to love to go to my grandmother's house and rummage through this one particular closet that she had in her hallway.  She kept all of her old purses, old board games and other treasures hidden in that closet.   I'd find old jewelry, sticks of gum (she liked spearmint gum a lot), and occasionally money in the pockets of the old purses.  The biggest treasure I ever found in that closet was an old, black, metal typewriter.  Several letters stuck but I didn't care.  So I begged my grandmother to give me that typewriter and she did.  I was about my daughter Sarah's age, 8 years old.  I can remember spending the summer I found that typewriter writing countless numbers of stories on that typewriter.    Ironically years later I would actually make writing my profession just not the kind of writing I dreamed of as an 8 year old...something a little more dry, technical writing.  My grandmother had a small part in setting that dream in motion by giving me that typewriter.  But she had a much bigger impact in so many other areas of my life.

My grandfather left my grandmother with their 4 young daughters.  The youngest was just a baby when my grandfather left.  Divorce wasn't like it is today.  Today divorce is so common that sadly we barely even notice when someone divorces their spouse.   So my grandmother was shunned by some who felt that she must have done something wrong to make a man leave a wife and his 4 kids.  She got a job working in a factory and worked far too many hours trying to make certain that her kids were fed and clothed.   My grandfather had very little to do with his children or his grandchildren.  For many years my grandmother harbored so much anger towards him for all that he put her and his kids through.  But in her later years she learned to forgive him to honestly feel sorry for him.  She once told me that she was blessed to see her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren grow up and to be a part of their lives.  But my grandfather didn't have that blessing and for that she felt sad for him. 

My grandmother understood that love was the most important thing in life.  She also understood that not forgiving my grandfather hurt her much more than it hurt him.  One of her daughters once asked her why she forgave him for what he did to them all and she said, "Because the Bible says if I don't forgive him then God won't forgive my sins." 

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."  (Matthew 6:14-15)

My grandmother taught me that family was important.  She showed me that you can endure difficult times and be blessed more than you can you can possibly imagine on the other side of those times.  She also taught me that I have to forgive people even when I'm still deeply hurt or just don't want to forgive.  That it hurts me so much more than it will ever hurt them.